Mara

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 21:12:19 GMT

I'm still thinking about the women who built a cabin that had to be torn down.

http://www.countrysidemag.com/issues/92/92-5/cob_house-a_place_to_heal.html

Does our culture really want to discourage people from going out and making things with their own hands in low-cost, low-energy ways? It's not okay to save money by living in a tiny mud hut without electricity and plumbing, but it's okay to not have enough money to live, or it's okay to work too much doing something we hate. As long as we are fitting into other people's idea of what is safe and normal.

I feel very sad about this. And scared about my prospects for creating a life that feels right for me.

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 09:20:47 GMT

This made me so sad and angry I cried. Two women built a cob cottage and were ordered by "authorities" to tear it down because they didn't have a permit and it didn't meet the local building codes. That was pretty sad, but not surprising. The part that made me cry was at the end, when the women agreed that they made a mistake. "We broke the law. We should have got a permit." I was also confused about why the local community was "outraged" that they were living in a mud hut without plumbing. Why would anyone care?

MA cash back

Fri, 16 Oct 2009 23:02:54 GMT

Market America is getting ready to launch a new program so customers get cash back on all their purchases, AND on the purchases of anyone they refer! Below is a webinar with a basic outline of how it works...

http://marketamerica.na4.acrobat.com/overview/

Wed, 14 Oct 2009 04:53:26 GMT

The 4 year old I live with said to her sister, "Mara is my lover." Her sister Mariah whispered to me, "I think she means that she loves you." I decided not to comment.

Creepy dreams

Tue, 13 Oct 2009 14:52:20 GMT

For years, I have been having dreams that I'm engaged to a man. The wedding preparations are going smoothly, everything is beautiful, and then at the very last moment, I break it off. It's always right as I'm walking down the aisle, or even as we're saying our vows. I finally realize that I'm making a terrible mistake. And I walk out. I am as gentle as I can be, but there's no getting around it being heart-breaking for the poor fool who wanted to spend his life with me, and thought I wanted him.

I thought I was done with those dreams; it's been a while since I had one. But I had another one last night. I'm trying to figure out where it's coming from in my head. What does this mean????

And now I'm awake early, and I'm afraid to lay back down. What will happen in my mind next?

Sun, 11 Oct 2009 07:12:39 GMT

What is something you have wanted to do for a long time, but never have? Why haven't you done it?

Aging

Mon, 05 Oct 2009 05:24:38 GMT

People have always thought I am much younger than I am. I can still pass for a high schooler. And I guess it's about time for me to start being grateful for that, since I'll be 34 next month. But why? Why are we supposed to want to look young? What is wrong with aging?

Children and teenagers want to look older than they are. They can't wait to grow up. Then somewhere in our twenties, we realize that 30 is getting near. And from then on, we try to put on the brakes. So there are only about 5 or 10 years that we are supposed to be happy with the age we are. That's sad.

I'll admit to being a little scared about losing my athletic abilities. Arthritis sounds awful. I hope I will be able to ride a bike for a long, long time. I am definitely looking forward to gray hair. My parents both have beautiful salt and pepper hair. I have mixed feelings about the wrinkles around my eyes.

I have used up about a third of my life, maybe a little more. That's a lot of time left. When my time comes to go, I think I'll be ready.

What do you think? Are you happy with the age you are? Are you happy with how young or old you look? Are you scared or uncomfortable about getting older?

Work, Friendships, Freedom & Lightness of Being

Sun, 04 Oct 2009 01:48:15 GMT

I accidentally backdated this post. Sorry...

I love my job, more than any job I've ever had. But I have been getting pretty burned out. I need a break. So today was my last day at the LL for a few months. When I got home this afternoon, I felt light and free. It took me a couple hours to figure out why.

Things have been rough at the house since my friends and I decided to live together, and in the past month or so, we've settled into a comfortable, albeit unsatisfying balance. We've been mostly leaving each other alone. I think we've all been feeling relieved and discouraged about that; we all want more of a relationship with each other, but it's been terrible trying to work it out. I have been spending time in my room, and out of the house, and mostly coming downstairs to use the bathroom, or after everyone else is in bed.

Well, today when I got home from work, I started hanging around the kitchen, chatting with everyone. Then I joined the kids for a really cute cartoon about a pig family, and I read them a really, really idiotic book. I helped cook dinner, I offered to mop the floor tonight, we all watched the guinea pigs explore their new home, and I had a nice time just talking about anything with my friend Carrie. I sat on the couch by myself with a magazine while the kids ran in and out of the room and climbed on and off my lap.

It's been a long time since I felt comfortable in my home. It's been a long time since I felt free to be myself with my friends. That's been awful and sad. And now, the only difference I can think of, is that I can throw out my calendar for the next four months. I can sleep when I want, work when I want, go on long walks, or sit around and tickle the kids. Anything I want, and I don't need to be accountable to anyone. I don't understand how that has anything to do with being comfortable in the house and with my friendships. But maybe I've just been too stressed out to enjoy anything. Maybe the time is right for our friendships to make a new start.

* * *

I plan to spend a lot of time during the next month or so getting back to my old business of picking clothes. I'm really looking forward to it! When I did it before, I never for a moment took for granted how spectacularly wonderful it was to have absolute time freedom. Even when I got to the end of a month and realized I needed to scramble to make some more money, or some other crisis came up, and I had to do a lot of work right away, I always felt the same freedom.

If I needed to stay up late finishing something because I slept in late, or if I missed a bus and had to rework my entire day's plans, no matter what happened, I was in charge and I didn't need to report to anyone or get anyone's permission. I ate, slept, sat down, opened a window, whistled, or changed my plans when I felt like it. It was a joy to be up at midnight, with 4 hours of work ahead of me and no time for breaks. It was a joy to lug three enormous, jampacked duffle bags two miles in the rain, and have to stand up on the bus with them.

I feel gleeful at the prospect of having that life again. And I'm sure I will be glad to go back to the Lusty Lady in February. I really do love my job even though I have a boss other than me! :)

John and Hank Green! Nerdfighters!

Thu, 01 Oct 2009 19:00:02 GMT

View all Seattle events on Eventful

Vids

Tue, 29 Sep 2009 04:19:03 GMT

Chris Crocker rambles about phobias and judgments within the gay community

TV for chickens

Beeker's rendition of Ode To Joy

German bunny dancing

Lusty Lady art show

Sat, 26 Sep 2009 01:09:58 GMT

Oops, I was wrong; the Lusty Lady art show is actually *next* Thursday evening. Sorry! I hope none of you came out and were disappointed. Or if you did, I hope you enjoyed the dancing while you were here. :D

The correct info is:

Lusty Lady Art Show
Opens Thursday, October 1st
Reception with snacks 7-9 pm
1315 1st Ave
No cover charge
18 and over, ID required

All the art is made by the performers at the Lusty Lady!

Fri, 25 Sep 2009 01:54:07 GMT

An entrepreneur with an autistic son starts a business training and supplying autism-spectrum consultants for jobs where their "problems" are actually huge advantages.

She's been called a leader and an icon, and her actions are considered revolutionary – all because 13-year-old Rekha Kalindi refused to be married off and wanted to attend school instead.

Thank you meowse and qijm for this encouraging news!

Thu, 24 Sep 2009 20:49:33 GMT

Every time I hear "Gangsta's Paradise" by Coolio, I hear Weird Al's version in my head, especially the end. I hate that, because I really like the original, and because I know Coolio hates the parody. But I can't stop!

Mon, 21 Sep 2009 19:41:49 GMT

I used to have a picture of an orange kitten sitting next to a statue of a roaring lion. The kitten was yawning and it looked like they were both roaring. I can't find it now. Do you know where I can find it again?

Mon, 21 Sep 2009 17:42:39 GMT

What is a good, free antivirus for my laptop? I've been using Avast and it's about to expire. I didn't know there was an expiration date.

Bike trip companion

Tue, 15 Sep 2009 02:18:47 GMT

I've been thinking a lot about my upcoming bike trip to Arizona. I am realizing that I don't have the skills I need to do this by myself. I don't have any experience with bike repair, I don't have self-defense skills, and I'm a terrible navigator. I had planned to just throw myself into it and make it up as I go, but the more I think about it, the more I want someone to be with me. Safety in numbers and all that. I do want an adventure, and I do want to gain these skills by immersion, but I am thinking of more and more ways for this to go really, dangerously wrong, and if I am completely by myself....

Here are the plans I made when I was thinking I'd be by myself. It's all flexible, depending on what my companion (or companions) has in mind.

I'd like to leave Tacoma around the end of October or beginning of November, and take a leisurely pace. Where we go is open to discussion. I need to be back in the Seattle area no later than the beginning of March.

I plan to carry everything we need on our bikes and camp most nights. About once a week, I'd like to stop at a hostel or cheap motel. I'd like to do minimal cooking, which means lots of trail mix, energy bars, dried fruit, jerky, etc.

So... if this sounds interesting to any of you, please let me know. Or if you know someone else who might want to go, please forward this to them. You don't need to be in good physical shape, or have any experience with anything. Just be adventurous, open-minded, and crazy. If I can't find anyone who wants to go, I might decide to plan a completely different trip.

Mon, 14 Sep 2009 18:27:06 GMT

Can you recommend a bike maintenance book that I can bring with me on a bike trip? It should be helpful and informative with pictures, and most importantly small.

Sad and beautiful dream

Thu, 10 Sep 2009 23:04:01 GMT

Dream: The 30's or 40's, maybe as late as the 50's. Two men and a woman casually, easily have a gentle, affectionate manage-a-trois. One of the men slips away and the other two kiss for a few minutes, then they have to go back to their separate homes. As they are walking, the man hears his little boy in his apartment, calling for him and crying. The man thought he was at his mother's house. The boy is scared because his Daddy's not home. The man runs upstairs to his boy. The woman runs home too. If anyone found out what happened, they would all be devastated. God how sad. It hurts to think about how much harder it must have been for sexual minorities in other times. I'm sure in other ways, life was easier, and maybe for society as a whole, it all evens out. But to be queer and have so few choices... I could cry to think about it.

Tue, 08 Sep 2009 20:30:08 GMT

I have a nasty cold. I couldn't fall asleep last night until about 3 am because I was so uncomfortable. Luckily I don't need to work until Thursday. I'm drinking lots of water and tea. Today I got out my winter blanket. I was chilly last night.

Life is so weird!

Tue, 01 Sep 2009 16:50:12 GMT

An article about why Market America is thriving in this recession. Yay!

Sat, 29 Aug 2009 08:30:40 GMT

What happened when a NYC woman legally exposed her breasts in public... Thanks conuly!

Mon, 24 Aug 2009 05:25:28 GMT

Somehow I hurt my wrist today at work. I couldn't find an ace bandage so I'm using a diaper. It worked pretty good.

I always hated coffee but I'm starting to develop a taste for it at work. A couple months ago I started putting a little bit in my cocoa and liked it. Now I'm sipping coffee with sugar and creamer when I need a little pep in my step at work. I've never deliberately used caffeine before. I don't know why.

~ * ~ * ~

Am I confusing? In general...

Sat, 22 Aug 2009 02:30:02 GMT

I continue to be amazed that vocal inflection carries so much weight. Raising the pitch of one's voice on the second syllable of "Mm-hmm" makes it yes, instead of no.

Bike trip!

Sun, 09 Aug 2009 19:40:58 GMT

For several months I've been planning a long bike trip. I plan to take 6 months off from work and bike to Bisbee AZ, stopping in Astoria, San Francisco, Las Vegas, Knott's Berry Farm, and lots of other places on the way. I'll camp most of the time and get a bed in a hostel about once a week.

I'm planning to go at the beginning of October. I can stay here in this crazy house until then. The girls will be going to school in about a month.

Missing book

Mon, 20 Jul 2009 03:45:55 GMT

I used to have a book with about 10 mini bios of pioneering, creative women, including Annie Duke and a rooftop gymnast. I think I loaned it to someone but I can't remember who. I would normally just buy another copy and consider the first one a gift; but I can't remember the title of the book, and I'm not finding anything in Google. Do you have the book at home? Or do you know the title or author so I can buy it again?